Future Days
by HanayaS
Summary: Felicity wakes up in the hospital after a fall and things are not as she remembers.
1. Chapter 1

Felicity opened her eyes slowly, taking in her surroundings. The bright fluorescent of the lights seemed increase the pounding in her head and the antiseptic smell turned her stomach. Her body was stiff and aching and her mind was in a haze. She was in a hospital, of that she was certain, but she couldn't remember why she was there. She took stock of her injuries, which included headache and general achiness along with a splinted left arm, and assumed there must have been a mission gone wrong. Still, she couldn't remember what the mission was, or even who they'd been going after lately.

Oliver was folded awkwardly into a hospital chair next to her bed. He was fast asleep and taking in the rumpled state of his clothes, he'd been there for a while. This leant credence to Felicity's mission gone wrong theory, as it would explain his presence in her room; Oliver always felt guilty when she got hurt.

She located the remote for the bed and managed to get herself into an almost-seated position. The mechanical whir of the motor caused Oliver to stir slightly, but Felicity was thankful that he hadn't woken up. She was in the process of shifting the pillows so that she could get comfortable when a nurse came in. She was wearing purple scrubs and her name badge said "Karen".

"Well look who's finally awake," Karen said, smiling.

"How long was I out?" Felicity asked, her voice hoarse.

"Since they brought you in, day before yesterday," Karen filled a cup with water and handed it to Felicity. "This will help with the dryness."

"Thank you," Felicity said softly. She took a sip, the cool water soothing her throat.

"This one's been worried about you. Hasn't left your side," Karen said, indicating Oliver. "You've got one of the good ones."

"He's a good guy," Felicity responded, figuring there was no point in trying to explain the complicated friendship/partnership she had with Oliver.

"How are you feeling?" Karen asked, as she checked Felicity's IV.

"I'm alright, I guess," Felicity responded. "My head's aching and everything's a bit fuzzy, but I guess that's probably to be expected." She considered asking why she'd been brought in, but she knew that whatever cover story Oliver and Diggle had worked up wouldn't shed any light on what had actually happened.

"Well, I know that Dr. Bernhard was waiting for you to wake up before we ran some tests," Karen told her. "So I am going to let him know that you're up, and once we get those tests run, we can get you something for the pain."

"Thanks."

"You're welcome." Then she looked over to Oliver. "Well, it looks like everyone's up now, so I'll leave you two to catch up, while I go get the doctor."

Karen left the room, and Felicity turned to look over at Oliver, who was sitting forward in his chair. As her eyes met his, he broke out into a wide smile, reaching out and taking her right hand in both of his, careful of the IV.

"Hey, you're awake," he said, "how are you feeling?"

"A little sore," Felicity admitted, "and I don't really remember what happened."

She dropped her voice to a whisper, "I assume our evening plans went awry."

"Something like that," Oliver said with a small smile. "Though you were not supposed to be there; I thought we had agreed on that."

Felicity shrugged. "I might be a little fuzzy on the details right now, but I'm sure I had a good reason."

"Not good enough," Oliver insisted, running one hand gently up her forearm, and looking into her eyes. "We agreed; no more evening plans for you."

Felicity frowned, pulling her hand out of Oliver's grasp. "That doesn't sound like something I'd agree to. My life, my choice; remember?"

Oliver frowned, "yes, but-" he began, but was interrupted when Karen returned with Dr. Bernhard.

"Well Mrs. Queen, I'm glad to see you're finally awake," he said. "How are you feeling?"

Felicity looked quizzically at the doctor. "Oh, I'm not Mrs. Queen."

Dr. Bernhard looked down at the chart in his hand, and then back up at Felicity, his brow furrowed. "You're not Felicity Queen?"

"No, I'm Felicity Smoak." Felicity began to wonder what had happened when she'd been brought in. Had they just assumed that Oliver was her husband or did he tell them that to pull some kind of strings? It seemed like the kind of asinine thing he would do, especially if he was feeling guilty that she'd gotten hurt.

Dr. Bernhard put down the chart. "Felicity, do you know who this man is?" he asked, gesturing to Oliver.

"That's Oliver Queen," she said, "but we're not married. We work together, and I mean, we're friends, but we're not married, we're not even dating."

She glanced over at Oliver, who was sitting stiffly in the chair, wearing an unreadable expression.

"Felicity, can you tell me the last thing that you remember?" Dr. Bernhard asked.

Felicity closed her eyes for a moment, trying to remember. Everything was hazy and it seemed like there was a big black hole in her memory. "I'm not really sure," she admitted. "Being at home, maybe? Nothing specific."

Dr. Bernhard nodded. "Okay. Can you tell me the date?"

"March, I think," Felicity said, struggling, "not sure the day."

"And the year?"

"2014"

"Okay." Dr. Bernhard picked up her chart, and made a few notes.

"Is something wrong?" Felicity asked, sensing some tension in the room.

"Well, Felicity, I'd like to start running some tests. I'd like to start by getting a CT scan and an MRI to get an understanding of what we're dealing with here. I'm concerned that your fall and the head trauma might have done a little more damage than I'd originally thought."

Felicity sighed. "I got the date wrong, didn't I?"

Dr. Bernhard nodded.

"What is the date?" Felicity asked.

"April 7th," the doctor replied.

"Oh, that's not too bad."

"2018."

Felicity's stomach lurched. "I think I'm going to be sick."


	2. Chapter 2

Oliver handed her a cup of water, and helped her to settle back onto the pillows after the others had left. The water did little to alleviate the acidic taste in her mouth, but she continued to take small sips anyway. Finishing the water, she placed the cup on the tray beside her and brought her hands up to cover her face, taking a few deep breaths as she tried to block out everything for a moment.

Oliver seemed to sense that she needed space and settled back into his chair. After a few moments of silence he asked "Are you okay?"

"Am I okay?" Felicity could stop herself from chuckling. "This is crazy. I must still be unconscious and this is some sort of weird trauma-induced dream. It can't be 2018. That's like some kind of crazy future year, like in a science fiction movie or something."

"And 2014 isn't?" Oliver asked, managing a small smile.

"Okay, fair point," Felicity shrugged. "But still, people don't just wake up and lose years of their life. This isn't a TV show, or worse, some kind of soap opera. These things don't happen in real life."

Starting to feel panicked, Felicity closed her eyes and tried to remember something, anything, about the last 4 years of her life. However, the more she struggled to remember, the more frustrated she became. It was like there was a big black hole where her memories were supposed to be, and trying to remember only made the pain in her head increase. It didn't help that even with her eyes closed she could feel Oliver staring at her.

She knew that he was worried and confused, but she was too. The added pressure wasn't helping. She opened her eyes and looked over at him; he was running his left hand through his short hair, scratching at the back of his head, something he did when he was stressed. As he did it, however, Felicity noticed a glint of metal and suddenly something clicked.

"Oh my God!" she exclaimed.

"What?" he asked, sitting up straighter and looking at her, concerned.

"We're actually married, aren't we?" she asked. "I'm actually Mrs. Queen. You and I got married. Why would-? I mean, how did-? When did?" Felicity struggled to find the words. "Are we married?"

Oliver nodded. "Yes, we are married."

Felicity let out an astonished chuckle. "Okay, I am definitely dreaming, because in what crazy parallel universe do the two of us end up married?"

Oliver frowned. "I don't think it's crazy."

"Oh, it's crazy," Felicity responded, her mind reeling. It's not like she'd never had an interest in him; she'd always found him attractive and they'd definitely had a connection, but they were so different. They were friends and crime-fighting partners, but she'd never thought they could really be anything more than that. "How long have we been married?"

"Almost three years. We got married in August."

Felicity did the math in her head. "August 2015? How long were we together when we got married?"

"Long enough," Oliver smiled. "We made our relationship official the beginning of 2015, I believe."

"That seems fast."

"When you know, you know," Oliver responded, softly. "Besides with what we do, you realize that life is just too short to wait."

Felicity nodded, struggling to process what Oliver was telling her. He seemed to sense this, and pulled out his phone. A moment later, he held it out to show her a photo of the two of them, on their wedding day. It was clearly a candid shot, a private moment caught on camera. His hand was around her waist, touching the sash of her white dress, while she ran her hand along the lapel of his jacket. They were gazing at each other, smiling. She looked really happy in the photo, they both did.

After a moment, Oliver tucked the phone back into his pocket and looked up at her sadly. "You really don't remember?"

Felicity shook her head. "Everything is pretty fuzzy."

Oliver leaned forward, cupping her cheek with his left hand. "We will get this figured out."

Felicity nodded and Oliver dropped his hand, sitting back in the chair. "Okay, so we're married and we're still doing our usual evening activities?"

Oliver nodded.

"Am I still working at Queen Consolidated?"

"Yes."

"Please tell me I'm not still your assistant."

Oliver smiled. "No, you are no longer my assistant. You are back in the IT department. "

"Okay, that's good," Felicity continued, "and John. Is he still around?"

"Diggle is still around and doing well. He will be glad to hear that you are awake and with us once more. He was worried."

"It seems like he wasn't the only one who was worried," Felicity admitted.

Oliver met her eyes and opened his mouth to say something, but Felicity interrupted him. "Where do we live? And please don't tell me we live with your mother."

He chuckled. "No, we have a house. It's just outside the city, so we have some privacy. We bought it just before we got married; in fact it was my wedding gift to you."

"I find it hard to believe I would accept that big of a gift."

"You didn't at first," Oliver told her, "but when you saw the wraparound porch with the porch swing overlooking the yard, you caved."

"I always wanted a porch swing," Felicity said, wistfully.

"I know." Their eyes met, and there was a softness and a love in Oliver's eyes that Felicity had never seen before. In that moment she could almost believe what he was telling her was true.

"Felicity," he said softly, "I need-" he began, but was interrupted when Karen returned to the room.

"Alright, Mrs. Queen, it's time to take you down to CT," Karen said.

Felicity broke eye contact with Oliver and nodded to the nurse.

Karen turned to Oliver. "This would probably be a good time for you to go get a coffee or something."

Oliver nodded as he stood up. "I should make some calls, anyway." He kissed the top of Felicity's head. "I'll see you soon."

Felicity nodded as she watched him leave.

"How are you hanging in?" Karen asked, as she worked at unhooking Felicity from the various machines monitoring her.

"Well, apparently I've missed out on the last few years, during which time I changed jobs, got married and bought a house," Felicity replied honestly. "So, I guess I'm doing as well as can be expected."

"At least you married a handsome billionaire?" Karen offered.

Felicity smiled. "Well, when you put it that way, it sounds like I won the amnesia lottery."

"That's the spirit."

"So, Karen, catch me up. Who's the president? Do we have flying cars yet? What have I missed?"

The two women chatted until the orderly arrived with a wheelchair to take Felicity to CT. Karen helped Felicity out of bed and into the wheelchair, reassuring her that things would be fine and that the scans would help them to figure things out.

The orderly wasn't very talkative and so they passed the trip through the hospital in silence. Felicity's thoughts were running rampant as she tried to process all the information she'd learned since she woke up. She was married. To Oliver. No matter how much she thought about it, it just didn't make sense. From what she remembered of her life in 2014, they were not even close to being in a romantic relationship, so it was hard to believe that that would be married in just over a year. Yet, she'd seen the photo, and the way that Oliver had looked at her, and so somehow she knew it must be true. She just had so many questions.

The radiologist, who introduced himself as Dave, met them in the hallway and the orderly handed him Felicity's chart.

"Alright, let's see what we have here," he said, looking it over. "You are Felicity Queen?"

"That's what they tell me," Felicity said wryly.

Dave smiled. "30 years old. Here for a head CT after trauma."

Felicity nodded.

"And you're 12 weeks pregnant. Congratulations."

"I'm sorry- What?!"

After a brief bout of hyperventilation, the radiologist was able to get Felicity calmed down enough to complete the CT scan. Still, she felt completely overwhelmed and wondered how much more she could handle. How could she be pregnant? And married to Oliver? And 30? So many big things had happened in her life and she was beyond frustrated that she couldn't remember them.

When the orderly brought her back to her room, Oliver was there. He was still in the same rumpled clothes, pacing back and forth. For some reason, the sight brought a smile to Felicity's face. At least some things were just as she remembered, and Oliver had never been good at waiting. When he saw her, he came to her side, taking over for the orderly and helping her get back into the hospital bed. He fussed over the pillows and blankets, helping her to get settled, and Felicity let him, knowing that he needed to feel useful.

"So," she began, once the orderly had left the room, "is there anything else you need to tell me?"

"I imagine that there are a lot of things I need to tell you," he said, cautiously.

"How about that I'm pregnant?" she said, feeling a little annoyed at his evasiveness.

"Oh," he said, his face falling. "I was going to tell you."

"You were?"

"Yeah, I wanted to tell you, but you seemed very overwhelmed and I didn't want to add to that and…" he trailed off.

"And what?"

"And we don't know what is going on yet."

"That's why they did the CT. So we can figure out what's going on," Felicity said, feeling like she was missing something. "That's actually when they told me about the pregnancy, which means that you thought it was important to tell my doctors but not to tell me."

Oliver took a deep breath. "I meant that we don't know what is going on with the pregnancy. "

"Oh," Felicity looked down at her lap, suddenly uncomfortable.

"It's still really early in the pregnancy and they were waiting for you to wake up to do an ultrasound. The doctor said that's the only way they can tell if the baby is alright at this stage," he rubbed his hand along his jaw, anxiously. "I wasn't sure if I should tell you at all, just in case."

"Oh," Felicity repeated, placing a hand on her stomach. Although she was still processing the news that she was pregnant, and wasn't yet attached to the pregnancy, she felt a pang of concern.

"The doctor said that everything should be fine, despite the fall, apparently the baby is well cushioned in there. They just need to do the ultrasound to be sure." Oliver placed his hand over hers on her stomach, but Felicity quickly pulled hers away, feeling overwhelmed.

"Sorry," Oliver whispered, pulling his hand back.

"It's okay. Just a lot to process," Felicity admitted.

"I know," Oliver nodded. "And I should have been the one to tell you. It's strange though, we haven't told anyone. You wanted to wait the full 12 weeks. You didn't want to tempt fate, you said. We were going to start telling people this weekend. Then this happened." Oliver cleared his throat, his face once again becoming an unreadable mask. "Anyway, I spoke to Diggle. He was glad to hear that you are awake. I think he will come by a little later, I hope that will be alright?"

Felicity nodded.

"Likewise, a visit from Thea may be unavoidable. I tried to explain that you would likely need some time, but she is not great at listening." He managed a small smile. "I know you don't remember, but the two of you have become quite close."

"Makes sense, since we are sort of related now," Felicity admitted. "Does she know, by the way?"

"About what?"

"Your evening activities."

Oliver nodded. "She does."

"Wow, that's big," Felicity said, genuinely surprised. "I've really missed a lot."

"You didn't miss it," Oliver said, "you just forgot."

"I guess."

"We will figure this out, Felicity," he said, hesitantly placing his hand on her arm. "I promise."

Over the next hour or so, Felicity was shuffled back and forth for additional tests, including an MRI and blood work. Oliver was always in the room waiting for her when she got back. When they were together, they sat mostly in silence, each lost in their own thoughts. Finally, Dr. Bernhard came to speak to them.

"Well," he began, "we're still waiting on the results from the blood work, but I have had a chance to look over the imaging that has been done, and things are looking not too bad."

"What does that mean?" Oliver asked.

"Well, I don't see any evidence of any active brain bleeds, which is good. There is a little bit of swelling, however, which is probably why you were unconscious for so long, Mrs. Queen. It's also probably why you're having some issues with your memory."

"I can't remember the last four years," Felicity said, more than a little irritated, "I think that's a little more than a memory issue."

"Well, Mrs. Queen, the brain sometimes responds to trauma, like you experienced, in different ways. Sometimes, after a trauma, they experience some memory loss, we call this post-traumatic amnesia, and in your case, it seems to have affected your memories from the past few years. The good news is that it usually passes."

"How long will that take?" Felicity asked.

"It's hard to say. Could be days, could be weeks. It's almost impossible for us to determine," Dr. Bernhard explained. "However, we will keep monitoring you for a while longer, and after that the best treatment is actually to get back to your usual routine. We find that being exposed to reminders of past memories can often trigger those memories to return."

"So, I really could get my memories back?" Felicity asked, feeling a glimmer of hope.

"I don't see why you wouldn't," Dr. Bernhard smiled. "Other than that, you seem to be in good health, so I don't imagine you'll be with us much longer."

"And the baby?" Oliver asked.

"I have spoken with Obstetrics and they will be sending someone up later to do an ultrasound," he replied. "We'll know more then."

Felicity felt a pang of guilt. She'd been so caught up worrying about getting her memories back that for a few minutes she'd forgotten about the pregnancy. She then felt even guiltier because a part of her almost hoped that there was no pregnancy to worry about. She was already completely overwhelmed, and how was she supposed to be a mother when she barely even knew who she was? She looked over at Oliver and she could see the worry in his eyes. She knew he was trying to be strong for her, but she also knew him well enough to know that he was struggling. Everything was such a mess.


	3. Chapter 3

Never in her life had Felicity been as happy to see anyone as she was when John Diggle came into her hospital room. She and Oliver had been sitting in an awkward silence for much too long.

"John," she said, smiling brightly.

"Hey Felicity, I'm glad to see you're back with us." Diggle said, hugging her gently. "How are you doing?"

"As well as can be expected for someone who had can't remember what she did last week, or last year," Felicity told him. "By the way, you look different. Did you get a haircut?"

"Probably a few dozen," Diggle replied.

"That must be it."

"Hey Oliver, you're looking a little rough," Diggle turned to look at Oliver.

"Thank you," he replied.

"Why don't you go get some air? I'll hang out here and keep watch for a while."

Oliver nodded and stood up, stretching. "Thanks Dig." He turned to look at Felicity. "I'll be back soon."

She nodded.

After Oliver left, Diggle sat on the edge of her bed. "So, how are you doing, really? Oliver told me the doctor said you have some kind of post-traumatic amnesia."

"It's like there's a big black nothing where the last few years of my life are supposed to be. It feels like this is all a dream, or maybe that I'm going crazy," Felicity sighed. "It seems like just yesterday I was Oliver's assistant, going about my double life and taking down the criminals one hack at a time. Then today things are completely different, I've lost all of this time and I find out that not only am I with Oliver, I'm married to him. He will barely leave my side, and he's just sitting there looking at me like I could disappear at any moment, or maybe he's looking at me like I already have disappeared. I don't even know who I am in 2018, or what I'm like."

"Hey, you're still you, even in 2018," Diggle said reassuringly. "Trust me on that much."

"I'm a stranger to my own life," she said, frustrated. "I don't know what's been going on, I don't know what I do every day, I don't even know where I live. I don't know anything about my life. I have so many questions."

"So ask them," he said. "Believe it or not, I know you pretty well Felicity Queen."

"That sounds so weird ," Felicity made a face. "Seriously, when did I become Felicity Queen?"

"August 8th 2015. I should know, I walked you down the aisle."

"You did?" Felicity put her hand on Diggle's arm. "That's so sweet. I would have thought you'd have been Oliver's best man."

"I did that too," Diggle smiled.

"Of course."

"What else do you want to know?"

"I don't even know where to start," Felicity admitted.

"Do you want me to give you the highlights?"

"Yes please," Felicity said, leaning back onto the pillows.

"Well, let's see. You and Oliver told me that you were together some time in January of that year, although I'm pretty sure something had been going on since the fall. Around the same time, you decided that you weren't going be his girlfriend and his assistant, so you went back to IT. They've tried to promote you there a few times, but you've turned down most promotions since apparently you'd rather deal with the tech than manage people."

"That sounds like me."

"You and Oliver got engaged sometime around May, I think. There was a close call, and I think that's what prompted it. You'll have to get him to tell you the whole story. He bought you the house shortly after. It's on Blind Line, by the way, just a few kilometers out of the city proper. You two actually got married there. It's a nice piece of property."

"I hear it has a porch."

"That it does," Diggle nodded. "Things at the Foundry have been business as usual. We've had more than our fair share of work, minor stuff mostly, but we've taken down a few major threats as well. Roy's been around a lot more, and Sara comes and goes."

"I heard Thea knows."

"Yes she does. Oliver hasn't gotten any better with his excuses and it finally caught up to him," Diggle shrugged. "She took it surprisingly well though."

Felicity nodded. Listening to Diggle talk seemed to only increase her frustration about her missing memories. She didn't want to just hear about the things that Diggle was telling her, she wanted to remember them. To remember the details and to be able to feel the way she was supposed to feel, about Oliver and Thea and everything.

"It's going to be okay, you know?" Diggle said, as though he could read her thoughts. "We're going to figure this out."

"I hope so. The doctor said that my memory would probably come back, but what if it doesn't?" Felicity rambled. "I can't be Oliver's wife; I don't even remember starting a relationship with him. I don't remember our first date or our first kiss. I'm his friend, his Girl Wednesday, his partner in crime, but that's as far as it goes. The Oliver I remember doesn't have any romantic inclinations towards me, but this Oliver, the one I've woken up to, is looking at me like I'm the most precious thing in the world and I have to admit, it's kind of freaking me out. And what's going to happen when they let me out of the hospital, I'm going to go live with him? In a house that I don't remember, one that he apparently bought for me? And I'm supposed to have his baby and live happily ever after? How can I be a wife and mother when I don't even know who I am anymore?"

"You're pregnant?" Diggle said, surprise evident.

Felicity clapped her hands over her mouth. "Yes, I mean, maybe. I don't know." She sighed. "I don't think I was supposed to tell you that. Apparently I didn't want to tell anyone until after 12 weeks, but I guess I -was- pregnant or I -am- pregnant but they're not sure if the baby is okay because of the accident and they have to do an ultrasound or something to see."

"Oh Felicity," Diggle said softly, taking her hand. "I didn't know. I mean, I knew you guys had been trying, but it's been almost a year, so I didn't know."

"He didn't tell me we'd been trying for a while," she said quietly.

"You guys didn't talk about it much. I know he was worried, and you were too."

"So, we finally get pregnant, and I might lose the baby," she sighed. "And even if we don't, best case scenario is a brain damaged mother who doesn't even remember trying to get pregnant. No wonder Oliver looks like the floor is about to drop out from underneath him."

"It's going to be okay."

"I'm scared, Dig," Felicity admitted. "I don't know if I can do this. I can't be who he wants me to be."

"He just wants you to be you."

"No, he wants me to be -her-. The Felicity he married, the one he loves, and the one who loves him."

"I don't think those are as different as you're making them out to be," Diggle smiled. "You seem just the same to me."

"Thanks."

Felicity started to think of another question to ask, when a woman in salmon coloured scrubs came to knock at the door.

"Mrs. Queen?" she asked.

"That's me," Felicity responded. "Or so they tell me."

The woman frowned. "I'm Dr. Segal, from Obstetrics. Dr. Bernhard asked me to come and do an ultrasound."

Felicity nodded. "You're in the right place." She turned to Diggle. "Could you go get Oliver?"

"Of course." He kissed her forehead. "It will all be alright. Don't worry."

"Thanks John."

It wasn't until she was lying back, with her hospital gown pushed up and cold gel being spread across her stomach that Felicity really thought about the life potentially growing inside of her. In that moment Felicity felt a flood of guilt and protectiveness and sent up a prayer to whoever was listening for the baby to be safe and healthy. She may not remember wanting or conceiving a baby, and she certainly didn't feel ready to be a mother, but she realized that she didn't want to lose the baby either. Squeezing her eyes shut, she blindly held out her right hand towards Oliver. He took it and squeezed reassuringly.

"A lot of first time parents worry after a fall, but this early in the pregnancy, the uterus is still protected within the pelvis, which means the risk to the fetus is minimal. Still, it's best to be cautious, so let's take a look," Dr. Segal started to run the wand across Felicity's abdomen.

For a moment time seemed to stand still, and then they heard it- the steady thumping sound. Felicity opened her eyes and turned to look at the monitor. She could just make out a blurry shape that looked vaguely baby like.

"Alright, there we go," Dr Segal said, smiling. "The heartbeat sounds strong, and at 150 beats per minute we're right where we should be at 12 weeks."

She continued to move the wand along Felicity's abdomen, trying to get a better angle. Finding a good view, she froze the screen. "Let's take a look. There you can see the head," she said gesturing, "and there's a hand, and the legs. Everything looks just as it should."

Felicity let out the breath she hadn't realized that she'd been holding. She looked away from the screen, turning to look at Oliver. As their eyes met, she noticed that his shone with unshed tears. He looked both thrilled and relieved. Felicity was relieved too, but she knew that she wasn't feeling anything close to what Oliver must be feeling. For him this was -their- child, the one they'd planned for, and waited for, while to her it still felt like a dream.

"Well, Mrs. Queen, I would suggest that you follow up with your regular OB in the next week or so, but since things look good now, I don't anticipate that there will be any issues from the fall," Dr. Segal turned off the machine and wiped the gel off of Felicity's stomach.

"Thank you," Oliver said, clearing his throat.

"You're welcome," Dr. Segal responded, as she left the room, "and congratulations."

"So," Felicity began, covering her stomach again, "I guess we're having a baby."

Oliver hesitantly reached out and took her hand again, "We are having a baby."

Felicity wasn't sure whether she should be thrilled or terrified. These were hardly the circumstances under which she thought she'd have a child. All she could think was - I really need to get my memory back.

"Hey sister sister," a youthful voice exclaimed, waking Felicity once again. She opened her eyes and saw Thea, smiling broadly as she stepped into the hospital room.

"Thea?" Felcity mumbled, as she tried to get into a seated position.

"Oh God, were you sleeping?" Thea said, coming to Felicity's side. "I'm so sorry. I was just so glad that you were finally awake. Although, I guess you weren't really."

Thea helped Felicity to arrange the pillows behind her so that she could sit up, and then gave her a hug.

"We were so worried," Thea told her.

"I know," Felicity said, looking to the chair Oliver had been occupying, which was conspicuously empty. "Where did Oliver go?"

"Diggle took him home to get some stuff," Thea replied. "He hadn't left the hospital since you were admitted, and it was getting kind of gross."

Felicity smiled. "That's good; things have been a little intense today."

"I can imagine," Thea said. "How are you feeling?"

No matter how many times she was asked this question, Felicity still wasn't sure how to respond. Her whole world had been flipped upside down and she was struggling to find her equilibrium. How was she feeling? Overwhelmed to say the least; scared, confused, exhausted. She couldn't even begin to sort it all out.

"I'm okay," she said, finally. "Tired, and more than a little confused, but okay."

"Yeah, Ollie said that you were having memory issues." Thea perched on the edge of Felicity's bed.

Felicity nodded. "I don't remember anything from the last four years."

"Seriously? Nothing?" Thea asked.

"Nothing yet," Felicity said, "but the doctor said my memory will probably come back in time."

"That sucks."

"Yes, it does."

"Well, sister sister," Thea smiled, "I have a present for you."

"Sister sister?" Felicity frowned, confused.

"Yeah, you know, like the show."

"With the twins?"

"Yeah- sister, sister, never knew how much I missed ya," Thea sang.

Felicity chuckled. "I think I remember."

"Well, that's you; you're my sister sister, the one I never knew I always wanted," Thea said with a smile.

"Oh," Felicity said softly, feeling guilty. Oliver had mentioned that they'd become close, but she hadn't realized how close they must have been. Growing up, she too had always wanted a sister, and now it seemed that she had finally gotten her wish, but she didn't remember any of it.

"I'm sorry I don't remember," she said sincerely.

"It's okay," Thea responded. "Do you want your present now?"

"Sure."

Thea reached into her bag and pulled out a tablet. "Okay, so it's just my crappy tablet and not your awesome one, but I figured if you didn't remember marrying my brother, you wouldn't remember your password, and you keep that thing locked down tighter than the Queen family jewels so no one else can use it."

Felicity smiled. "That is true."

"Plus, I know that you're probably crazy bored stuck in this bed and not being able to research all the stuff the doctors have been telling you. Don't deny it; you know that you love to be super-informed. You nearly drove Ollie insane the last time you bought a car. Not to mention the last time he was in the hospital and you were practically banned because you drove the staff crazy with questions."

Felicity took the tablet from Thea. "Thank you, this was really thoughtful."

"That's what sisters are for."

On an impulse, Felicity leaned forward and hugged Thea. "Alright, now catch me up. What have you been doing for the last four years?"


	4. Chapter 4

Oliver returned just in time for evening rounds. He was freshly showered and dressed, but still wore the same tired, worried expression that he'd had before he left. He dropped a small bag on the side table and settled into his chair.

"I was just telling Mrs. Queen" Dr. Bernhard began.

"Felicity," she interjected.

"Indeed," Dr. Bernhard continued. "I was just telling Felicity that I'd like to keep her one more night for observation, and run another CT scan in the morning. However, if that CT is clear, there's no reason she can't go home tomorrow. Her blood work is normal, and her wrist and other injuries are minimal. The only pressing concern is the memory loss, and the best thing that we can do for that is to allow Mrs, I mean Felicity, to get back to her usual routine."

"You really think that will get my memory back?" Felicity asked.

"I am optimistic about it," Dr. Bernhard said, "although I would also recommend that you see a neuropsychologist, to help you work through the process of regaining your memories. I know of one in Starling City, so I can make the referral if you'd like."

"Please," Felicity said, knowing that she'd agree to anything if it could help get her memory back, even if it was a shrink.

"Wonderful. I will contact Dr. Callahan with the referral and her office will contact you next week."

"Thank you Dr. Bernhard," Oliver said, standing up to shake the doctor's hand.

"You're very welcome. Now get some rest, both of you," he said, looking pointedly at Felicity and Oliver. "I'll see you in the morning."

After the doctor left, Oliver turned to Felicity. "How are you holding up?"

Felicity ran her hand through her hair, sighing. "As well as can be expected, I suppose."

"How did your visit with Thea go?"

"Really good," Felicity said. "Even though I don't remember having such a close relationship with her, it was still great to catch up. I can't believe all that she's been up to with managing the club and getting her degree at the same time. She's come a long way."

Oliver smiled. "That she has."

"And she brought me a tablet, so I've been catching up with the world too. I can't believe how many silly reality shows have kept going when some of my favourite shows have been cancelled. Not impressed. Plus I totally missed the new Star Wars movie, which apparently actually lived up to expectations. And don't get me started on the new President. I can't even talk about that."

"Well, let me assure you that you did not vote for him. You also enjoyed the new Star Wars movie, and we own it, so you will have the chance to watch it. In fact, I think you might appreciate getting to watch it again for the first time. Also, rest assured that you have found new shows to love and to force me to watch."

"Okay, good."

"I brought you a few things as well," he said, reaching for the bag, and handing it to Felicity. "It isn't much, just some clothes and pyjamas and a few photo albums. About a year ago, you got it into your head that we needed to have real photo albums with printed photos instead of just digital ones, so you spent hours putting these together."

Felicity opened the bag and reached past the clothes, pulling out a thick leather album. She ran her hand along the smooth cover, unsure if she was ready to face the potential Pandora's box contained inside.

"I thought they might help."

"Thank you," Felicity said softly, looking up and meeting Oliver's eyes. He looked so hopeful, as though he'd convinced himself that if she could just see what their life had been like, she would remember. Felicity wasn't so certain, and she wasn't sure she could handle his response if the photos didn't trigger any memories.

"I'm just a little tired, though," Felicity said, hoping it didn't sound as lame an excuse as it did in her head. "I'll take a look later, okay?" She put the album back into the bag.

Oliver nodded, a look of hurt crossing his face. "Did you want to get changed? I could help, if you needed."

"Thank you, but Karen, the nurse from earlier said she would come by to help me shower before her shift ends. So, she should be by shortly."

"Oh, okay," Oliver sat back in the chair.

"You should go home," she said, "get some rest. You must be exhausted."

"I'm okay here."

"Seriously Oliver, that chair can't be comfortable and I'll just be sleeping. You could get some decent sleep and then come back in the morning."

"I'm not leaving you," he said firmly.

"Okay."

The evening passed quickly. The shower relaxed Felicity so fully that she fell asleep as soon as she was back in the bed. She woke once in the night to find that Oliver had pulled his chair against her bed. He was sleeping with his head tucked into her side on the bed, his hand clutching hers tightly.

In the morning they made small talk as they shared her breakfast at her insistence. He wouldn't leave her side to get something for himself and she was too nauseous to eat much of anything. After breakfast they took her down for another CT scan and before the morning was over, she had been cleared to go home.

Felicity, needing to feel some sense of control, convinced both the nurse and Oliver to let her get dressed on her own while Oliver went to get the car. Felicity took her time changing, noticing the slight changes in her body that time had brought. Her breasts were fuller and her waist was slightly thicker, likely because of the pregnancy. She also seemed to be in better shape than she remembered, with noticeable muscle definition in her arms and legs. She also discovered a small green arrow tattooed on her left hip; it was simple and cute, no more than an inch long, and Felicity found herself wondering when she'd gotten it.

She stepped into the well worn jeans and pulled on her favourite MIT sweatshirt. She was pleased that Oliver had chosen to bring not just clothes she remembered, but her favourite comfort clothing. As she did up the jeans, she felt something poking through the pocket. Slipping her hand inside, she pulled out a set of rings. One was a platinum band with bead set stones, topped off with a large round solitaire, the other was a matching band- her wedding rings. She contemplated them for a moment, debating whether she was ready to put them on, to become Felicity Queen.

Then she put them on, because there was no debate. Whether she remembered it or not, she -was- Felicity Queen. This wasn't a dream, this was her life, and she needed to start living it. She looked down at the rings, their sparkle standing out against the deep blue of her splint. It was time to go home.

As per hospital policy, Felicity was taken out of the hospital in a wheelchair. As the orderly pushed her out the front doors she saw Oliver, once again pacing, talking on his cell phone. He was standing in front of a blue grey Audi Q5 hybrid, likely the car that Felicity had researched to death, according to Thea. When he saw her, he quickly hung up and walked over to her, picking up her bag and taking her by the hand to help her out of the wheelchair.

"Are you ready to go home?" he asked.

"As ready as I'll ever be," she said, giving him a small smile.

He helped her into the car, even going as far as to buckle her in, and she let him, knowing that he was just as nervous as she was. He put her bag in the back, and then got in.

They passed the drive in relative silence, Felicity watching the city go by out her window, while Oliver kept looking over at her with an intensity that she could practically feel.

"I'm not going anywhere," she told him, when she couldn't take it any longer. "I have no intention of disappearing, or of jumping out of the car while we're driving."

"I know," he said sheepishly. "Sorry."

"It's okay. I get it," she said, "sort of. I'm me, but I'm not -her-."

"I don't want to lose you," he said, his voice low and serious.

"I know," she told him softly. Felicity knew that she should reassure him, but she couldn't. She didn't know what the future would bring for either of them, whether she would recover her memories, whether they would work things out. She was just as afraid of losing herself as he was.

"So," she said finally, "you're still hanging in as CEO. I have to admit I'm a little surprised."

"You and me both," he told her. "I have actually started to enjoy it, well, parts of it. And as it turns out, I am actually pretty good at it."

He looked over at her and smiled, "although I do have to admit, I have had a lot of help."

As they drove out of Starling and down the country roads just outside of the city, they passed the time by talking about Queen Consolidated and all of the changes that Oliver had implemented in his time as CEO.

Felicity stopped listening, however, when Oliver turned down a long driveway and she caught her first view of the house.

It may not have triggered a memory, but it did take her breath away. It was perfect. The two storey house was much larger than the one that Felicity had grown up in, but was probably considered small by Queen standards. It had an almost rustic look to it; painted wood with a stone chimney and stone columns, but what really stood out was the large porch that wrapped around most of the house. In the last 48 hours there had been a lot of things that Felicity had struggled to believe were true, but living in this house wasn't one of them. It really was the house she'd always dreamed of.

Oliver pulled up in front of the house and turned off the car, looking over at Felicity, who couldn't seem to take her eyes off of the house. "Are you ready to go inside?"

Felicity just nodded.

Oliver came around the car and opened the door for her, taking her hand and helping her out. She followed him up the steps, admiring the wooden porch swing as he unlocked the door. They stepped into the front entryway and Felicity got her first look at the interior. She walked through the front entryway past the stairs into a large living room with a stone fireplace. The walls were a calming sage green, and across the mantle she could see her own family photos alongside Oliver's, with a black and white photo of him and his father next to a large wooden sailboat.

"It's perfect," she said as Oliver came to stand beside her.

"That's exactly what you said the first time I brought you here," Oliver said, a wistful expression on his face. "Of course then you proceeded to tell me off for buying a house without consulting you first."

Felicity smiled. "That definitely sounds like something that I would do."

"Are you up to doing the grand tour?"

"Sure."

Oliver took Felicity through the entire house, room by room. Although she was tired, she looked around each room attentively, hoping that something would spark a memory. Unfortunately the only items she recognized were hers from before the accident. Still, she could see her own influences throughout, the brightly coloured table runner in the dining room, the top of the line coffee maker in the kitchen and the wall of bookshelves in the living room. It was strange experience to see her own things in this house mixed with Oliver's, as though she really had stepped into some kind of alternate universe.

As he took her around the house, he shared a few stories about the house and their experience moving in. He told her that his mother had tried to buy them a chandelier for their dining room. This had been before she'd seen the house, of course, as it was not the type of house that would suit a chandelier. He told her that she'd spent weeks driving him crazy with paint swatches, since she was determined that the house would be done in soothing colours, so that it could be a retreat from the chaos of their lives.

Felicity tried to take it all in. She didn't remember the house or any of the stories that Oliver told her, but there was just something comfortable and familiar about it. She may not have felt like she'd ever been there before, but she also couldn't shake the feeling that she was home.


	5. Chapter 5

After the tour, Felicity went to the bedroom to lay down for a few minutes while Oliver made lunch. She already thrown up twice since they'd arrived, solidifying her discovery that morning sickness doesn't go away just because you forget you're pregnant.

As she lay on the soft bed and looked around, she willed herself to remember something, anything about her life. The room was painted a soothing shade of blue, with a single painted landscape hanging over the bed. There was a bookshelf in the corner, but no other furniture aside from the king sized bed and a single night table, on one side of the bed. Felicity assumed that it was her side, because of the charging station, glasses case and stack of pregnancy books that rested there.

Lying on her side, she picked up one of the books and flipped through it. A number of pages were earmarked and there were blocks of text circled and underlined, along with notes in all the margins. Felicity smiled as she recalled how many of her textbooks in College had ended up much the same way.

Not long after Felicity woke up to a hand gently stroking her hair.

"Felicity," Oliver whispered. "Hey, come and get some lunch."

They headed down to the dining room, to eat the soup and sandwiches that Oliver had prepared. Beside her water glass, Felicity found two large pills and looked at Oliver questioningly.

"Prenatal vitamins."

"Gotcha," Felicity said, taking the pills with the water.

Felicity was a few bites into her soup when suddenly her brain made the connection. "This is my Nana's chicken soup," she declared.

"I know," Oliver responded.

"You know how to make my Nana's chicken soup?"

"I know how to help you make your Nana's chicken soup," he admitted. "This is just reheated. A few weeks ago, the morning sickness was so bad that this was one of the only things that you could eat so we made a huge batch to freeze, so that we would have it on hand. I thought it might make you feel more at home."

"It does," Felicity told him. "Thank you."

"I just want to help in whatever way that I can."

"I know." Felicity took another bite of her soup, taking comfort in its familiarity.

As they ate, Felicity asked some of the questions she had, and Oliver attempting to catch her up to what their friends and family had been up to in the last few years.

Felicity's mother, Irene, called not long after they had finished eating.

"Oh good, you're alive," Irene said when Felicity answered.

"Hello to you too mom," Felicity replied.

Irene continued talking without missing a beat. "I've been trying to call but I couldn't get a hold of anybody. Oliver left me a message a couple of days ago saying that you'd been in some sort of accident and then yesterday he left another one saying that you had some kind of amnesia or something. That's crazy, of course, because who really gets amnesia aside from characters on soap operas? But I haven't been able to get Oliver on the phone, and I wanted to check in on you and make sure you're alright. I've been busy though; I just finished working a double shift and all the crazies were out today. But anyway, I'm glad that I called because I was getting worried, but you sound like you're fine."

"Actually, mom-" Felicity began.

"That husband of yours worries too much," Irene continued. "I guess he can afford to with all that money of his. I tell ya Felicity, you lucked out with that one. Even if you get divorced, you will still be set for life. I know, I know, that's not the reason you married him, I'm just saying."

As she listened to her mother ramble, Felicity felt oddly comforted. Despite all the things in her life that had changed in the last four years, her mother seemed exactly the same. Felicity's relationship with her mother had always been challenging, to say the least, and there had even been times when Felicity was growing up that she had wondered which one of them was the parent. Still, her mother had always tried to do her best for Felicity, and she had worked hard at a lot of crappy jobs to make sure that their family had always had everything they needed and Felicity was grateful for that.

"Mom," Felicity said, interrupting her mother's tirade about her work day.

"What is it?" Irene asked.

"I love you," Felicity said, finding herself tearing up.

"I love you too baby."

Irene fell silent for a moment, but then said "you are alright, aren't you?"

Felicity nodded. "Yeah mom, I'm alright. It's just a bump on the head and a sprained wrist. I'm sure I'll be back to normal soon."

Felicity couldn't bring herself to tell her mother the whole truth. She didn't know what Oliver had left in his message, and she didn't want to worry her any more than she had to.

"Oh good," Irene replied, relief evident in her voice. "You know I'd come out there if I could. It's just really hard to get away from work. But if you really needed me to, I could figure it out."

"It's okay mom, you don't need to come out here. I'm really okay," Felicity said, hoping she sounded convincing.

"Alright baby," Irene said. "I should go. I just got home and I am wiped out."

"Go rest mom," Felicity said softly. "I'll talk to you soon."

"Feel better baby."

"I will," Felicity replied. "Bye mom."

Felicity had wandered out onto the front porch as she'd been talking. As she hung up the phone, she sat down on the porch swing, tucking her legs underneath her. The swing rocked gently as she closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

Oliver came out onto the porch a few minutes later. He stood, leaning against the railing and looking out at their yard.

"Was that your mom?" he asked.

"Yeah."

"You okay?" he looked back at her over his shoulder.

Felicity nodded. "It was good to hear her voice." She smiled, "she still rambles."

Oliver turned to face Felicity. "Sounds like someone else I know."

"Yes, well, rambling is what Smoak women do best."

Felicity shifted over to one side of the swing, making space for Oliver.

"I couldn't tell her," Felicity admitted. "I don't know how much you told her in your messages but I just couldn't tell her that I don't remember anything."

"I can understand that," Oliver said, sitting next to her on the swing.

"It would just stress her out, and she'd try and come out here. I just don't think I could handle that right now."

Oliver nodded.

"I love my mom. She's always been good to me. But she can be a lot to handle, and I think I have plenty of that right now. And who knows, maybe my memory will come back and I won't have to tell her. I just don't want her to worry."

Felicity frowned. "Am I a bad person for not telling her? I mean she's my mom and this is a really big thing to keep from her. Should I have told her?"

Oliver paused before answering. "I can understand why you decided not to tell her right now and I want you to know that I support you in whatever you decide. If tomorrow you change your mind and you want to fly her out here, we can do that too."

"Thank you," Felicity said, meeting his gaze. "I think I just need to figure out how I'm feeling before I can deal with her feelings, or anyone else's for that matter."

They sat quietly for a few minutes, the porch swing rocking soothingly.

"I should go and finish the reports for my tomorrow's meetings," Oliver said, standing up. "Do you need anything?"

"No, thank you."

Oliver reached out and gently stroked Felicity's hair before turning and heading back into the house, leaving Felicity alone with her thoughts.

After dinner Oliver and Felicity settled onto the couch to watch "His Girl Friday", one of Felicity's favourite movies. Exhausted from the events of the day, Felicity barely managed to keep her eyes open until the end of the movie. So, as the credits rolled, she excused herself to go to bed.

As she stood, she realized that she wasn't just heading up to her bed, she was heading up to -their- bed. Trivial as it seemed, she wasn't sure that she was comfortable sharing a bed with Oliver. Although technically he was her husband, it didn't feel that way, he just felt like a friend. She wasn't ready to jump into bed with him with her feelings as jumbled as they were, especially knowing his feelings for her went much deeper than that.

"Oliver, I," she began, not knowing how to begin.

He looked up at her. "Do you want me to sleep in the guest room?"

"Is that okay? Or maybe I should sleep in the guest room, I mean it's not really fair for me to kick you out of your bed, or I guess it's our bed, but I don't really remember it, so in that way it's really just yours."

"Felicity," he stood up and placed a hand on her shoulder. "It's okay. You should sleep in our bed, and I will be fine in the guest room."

"Thank you," she said softly.

"Get some rest," Oliver said, taking his hand of her shoulder and gently running it along the length of her arm before dropping it at his side. "Let me know if you need anything."

"I will. Goodnight."

_ "How are your ribs?" Felicity asked him, as Oliver came to sit beside her on the swing._

_ "Not too bad, which probably means they're just bruised, not cracked."_

_ Felicity took a sip of her tea. "For a second there, I thought I lost you tonight. There was a crash and the comms went dead and for just a moment I wondered if this was the going to be the night I lost you."_

_ He reached out a hand to cup her face, gently running his thumb across her bottom lip. "Hey, I'm okay."_

_ She reached up to cover his hand with her own, turning her head slightly to kiss his palm. "I know you're okay tonight, but maybe another night you won't be. Maybe we shouldn't be trying to have a baby; maybe we're kidding ourselves trying to have a normal life."_

_ "Don't say that. We can do this. I have you and Dig, and even Roy, watching my back. We could make it work as a family," Oliver put his arm around Felicity's shoulders and pulled her towards him, leaning back on the swing. "I want that with you, the whole package, a baby and a normal life. I'm sure we can figure it out."_

_ Felicity nodded, and Oliver kissed the top of her head. "C'mon, it's late, let's go to bed."_

_ "It's not late, it's early; the sun's about to come up," she told him. "Let's just stay here a few more minutes."_

_ "Okay," he said, dropping a light kiss on her lips._

_ Felicity curled closer into his side, careful not to press against his bruised ribs. The warmth of his body and the steady slow beat of his heart comforted her as they watched the sun rise from their porch._

Felicity's eyes snapped open, her head throbbing. Looking out the window, she saw that it was still dark outside. She eased herself into a sitting position, trying to shake off the dream she'd had. Or maybe it hadn't been a dream, maybe it was a memory? It had seemed real enough. Maybe her subconscious was trying to help her out, to throw her a bone.

She got out of bed and headed downstairs to the kitchen. She spent a few minutes opening and closing cupboards before she was able to find a glass. She turned on the tap to pour herself a glass of water, when she heard a noise behind her.

She turned and saw Oliver, shirtless and wearing grey pyjama pants. "Oh, I'm sorry, did I wake you?"

He shook his head. "I was already up."

"Okay, good. I mean, not good. You should be able to sleep, just good that I'm not the one that woke you." Felicity sighed.

Oliver gave her an amused look. "Why are you awake?"

"Had a dream."

"Nightmare?" he asked.

She shook her head and took a sip of her water. "Actually, I think it might have been a memory."

Oliver raised his eyebrows. "What happened?"

"We were on the swing, out on the porch. You had some bruised ribs or something, and it was after a mission where the comms had died. It was really late, or maybe early."

"We watched the sun rise?" he asked.

"Yeah."

"That was a memory from the fall, I think. We fell asleep on the swing and I missed a couple of meetings."

"Okay, that's good to know," Felicity said, rubbing the side of her neck.

"Did you remember anything else?"

Felicity shook her head, frowning. "No, sorry."

"It's okay." Oliver approached her, and put a hand on her upper arm, looking into her eyes. "Are you doing okay?"

"Yeah, I've got a bit of a headache, but I'm okay."

"Okay."

"I should go back to bed," Felicity told him, taking a step backwards. She put the glass in the sink and quickly left the kitchen.

When Felicity came down the stairs the next morning, Oliver was already dressed and in the kitchen, standing at the counter.

"Please tell me that is coffee that I smell," she said.

"It is indeed," he told her, pulling down a mug and pouring her a cup, "but it is also decaf."

"Right. No caffeine for the pregnant lady."

"Actually, there's no caffeine for either of us. That was the deal we made," he said, handing her the mug.

"Are you planning on gaining an extra 30 pounds as well?"

"Not planning, no," he said, smiling. "Can I make you something to eat?"

"I will have you know, I am perfectly capable of making my own toast," she told him, opening the fridge and pouring milk into her coffee.

"You're going to have more than toast, aren't you? You need to eat properly."

Felicity sighed. "Don't go all mother hen on me. I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself."

"I know you are," Oliver sighed as he picked up a sealed envelope from the kitchen table. "I have something for you."

"What is it?"

"It's your 'In Case of Death' folder," he said, frowning.

"My what?" she asked.

"Your 'In Case of Death' folder. A few years ago, you were worried that if something happened to you we wouldn't be able to access the systems we needed, so you made this. You keep it locked up in the safe in the office. I remembered about it last night, so I pulled it out this morning," he handed her the file.

"Do you know what's in it?" She asked, turning the envelope over in her hands.

"There's a copy of our will and a letter regarding your funeral wishes. However, what I thought you might find helpful right now is the list of computer passwords and other system-related instructions on how to use some of the security features and what not. Anyway, the information you need to access your tablet and your computer systems should all be in there."

"Thank you."

"Now, are you sure that you don't need me to stay with you today?"

"I will be fine on my own," Felicity insisted. "You need to go to work, and I've got lots of reading to do."

"You will call if you need anything?"

"Of course."

Oliver stepped forward, as though to kiss her, but stopped halfway. Instead, he awkwardly patted her shoulder, and then walked past her out of the kitchen, sighing.

Felicity turned slightly to watch him go, but he never looked back. When she heard the door close, she took a deep breath and sat down at the table, contemplating the envelope. Leave it to her to have planned for every potential outcome, including her own death or, in this case, the death of her memories. If anything was going to lead her down the path to recovering the last four years, Felicity knew she would need to start with her computers. Technology, after all, was what made Felicity Smoak (and Felicity Queen) who she was.


	6. Chapter 6

The first week that Felicity was home from the hospital was rough to say the least. After she'd convinced Oliver to go back to work, she had hoped that she would be able to go back soon after. However she hadn't considered what it would be like to forget four years of technological advances. With the help of her "In case of death" file, she'd been able to log on to her systems in the house, but had a lot more trouble navigating them than she'd anticipated. Basic things like web searches were easy, as they hadn't changed much, but there were programs and systems that she'd never dealt with before that, for the moment, seemed beyond her abilities. How was she supposed to work in IT when right now she was the one who needed to call IT? After a few days, Felicity realized that her recovery and her return to work were going to take a lot longer than she'd planned.

Adding to her frustration, Felicity also hadn't remembered anything beyond the dream she'd had her first night in the house. This was in spite of her best efforts to jog her memory by exploring the house and the surrounding property, as well as visiting Queen Consolidated when she met Oliver for lunch. Still, no object or place seemed to evoke any memories, no matter how long she stared. She and Thea had even spent an afternoon going through the photo albums that Felicity had been too overwhelmed to look at in the hospital.

Thea had dropped by at noon the first day that Oliver had gone back to work, a bag from Big Belly Burger in hand. Felicity had invited her in and they'd sat together at the table, eating their burgers.

"Alright, Thea, fess up. Did Oliver send you?" Felicity asked.

"Not exactly," Thea admitted, sheepishly. "I called him this morning to see how you were doing, and he just seemed really worried about you. He didn't like leaving you here by yourself while you were recovering."

Felicity sighed.

"He loves you, he's allowed to worry," Thea admonished. "Anyway, you should be thanking me, because I'm pretty sure he was planning to come home until I said that I would drop by and bring you lunch."

"Thank you."

"It's no biggie," Thea smiled. "I had the afternoon off anyway."

"Do we do this a lot?" Felicity asked. "Have lunch, I mean? Oliver mentioned that we were close."

"Yeah, we usually get lunch or go shopping or something a few times a month; it just depends on how busy things get. I think we're both trying to catch up on a lifetime's worth of sister stuff since neither of us had a sister growing up."

"I did always want a sister," Felicity said, smiling.

"Well you've got one now."

"I'm glad for that."

Thea regaled Felicity with tales of her morning classes as they finished their burgers, and they headed into the living room. As they sat on the couch, Thea noticed the stack of photo albums on the table. They were the same ones that Oliver had brought to the hospital. Felicity had put them there earlier, intending to look through them, but had lost her nerve.

"I see you've got out the albums," Thea said. "Have they helped you to remember anything?"

"I actually haven't opened them yet," Felicity admitted. "I was afraid that it might be weird to look at pictures of myself from events that I don't remember. Like I'm looking at an alternate version of my life, except it is my life, but my life that I don't remember. Not that that makes it any less my life, but it's like a stranger lived part of my life and now I'm just getting it back and I have to see all the things that they did when they were me."

Thea put a hand on Felicity's arm. "Okay, sis, you are definitely over thinking this. They're just pictures, and you're going to have to see them sooner or later."

Thea picked up a brown leather album. "C'mon, we can look through them together. Maybe if I can tell you what's happening in the pictures, it won't seem so strange."

She opened the album; on the first page were photos of Oliver and Felicity dressed up at the Queen mansion with Moira and Thea. "I remember this, it was the first Queen Holiday party after you and Ollie started seeing each other. Ollie drove mom crazy because he kept insisting that you be included in all the family photos, but you guys hadn't told her that you were together yet, you hadn't told any of us. She kept telling Ollie that his assistant didn't belong with the family, and you were on her side, but Ollie wouldn't let up and eventually he wore both of you down. It was pretty great."

Although Thea spent the entire afternoon going through the stack of photo albums with Felicity, telling her stories about holidays and parties, Felicity still hadn't recovered any more memories. Talking to Thea had helped to fill in some of the blanks, but hearing about what had happened from someone else wasn't the same as remembering it for herself. In some ways it was actually more frustrating to know what had happened and to not be able to remember it.

By the end of the week, Felicity had cleaned the house from top to bottom in order to deal with everything that she was feeling. Her frustration with not being able to remember, and her struggles catching up with technology were compounded by pregnancy hormones, throwing her emotions completely out of whack.

Oliver had come home one night and found her in tears sitting at her desk in her office.

"Felicity, what's wrong?" he asked, rushing to her side.

"I got an error message that I've never seen before and so I had to look it up online and I still don't know how to fix it," she sobbed.

Oliver gently pulled her up out of the chair and into his arms, holding her as she continued to sob.

"I can't even fix my own computer. How am I supposed to work in IT if I can't even fix my own system? What if I can't figure it out? What if I'm too far behind? New stuff comes out every day and I'm already four years behind. If I can't get my brain to remember all this stuff, I might never catch up, and I don't know how to do anything else."

"Hey," Oliver whispered into her hair. "It's going to be okay. We are going to figure this out."

All week she'd kept her distance from Oliver, as she struggled with the sudden shift in their relationship, and he'd respected that. They'd made idle conversation over breakfast and dinner, but Oliver had let her have her space. Felicity didn't remember being his wife, but that didn't mean that she'd never had any feelings for him, and she'd been afraid that if she reached out to him, she would lose herself in that relationship without ever figuring out how she really felt. Still, she'd missed her friend.

Being in his arms now, she felt safe and comforted; something that had been in short order ever since she woke up and her whole world was turned upside down. Oliver's embrace grounded her and allowed to begin to confront what had happened to her. Her tears may have started because of an error message, but it seemed in the safety of Oliver's arms the floodgates had opened and all of the worries that Felicity had pushed to the back of her mind came forth.

"It's been a week and I have exactly one memory of the last four years and I swear I've looked at every single thing in this house and nothing else is coming back. I can't go to work because for the first time _in my entire life_ I suck with computers, which also means that I can't help you and Dig, not that you'd probably let me go to the Foundry anyway, because you're being super over-protective. And I can't keep cleaning, because my wrist really really hurts. Though I will be cleaning that bathroom every day for the foreseeable future because apparently morning sickness never goes away, and frankly, I don't even know why they call it that because I'm sick all day, but that's a whole other thing."

Felicity's tears began to subside as she rambled. "I don't know what else to do, I don't know how to make myself remember and I don't know what happens if I never remember."

She took a deep breath, her arms tightening around Oliver's waist. "Oliver, what happens if I never remember?"

"If you never remember, we will figure it out. No matter what, we will make it work," he said, kissing the top of her head.

Felicity nodded, then rested her head on his chest and allowed herself to relax in Oliver's arms. He began to rub her back lightly with one hand and for a few minutes they remained that way, taking comfort in each others' arms. Felicity knew in that moment that she'd made a mistake pushing Oliver away; she might not feel like his wife, but they had always been partners. They would deal with this just like they'd dealt with everything else- together.

A few days later, Oliver brought an unexpected guest home for dinner. Tim Cavazzini had worked in the IT department at Queen Consolidated for the better part of the last decade, and had actually been the one to train Felicity when she'd started there, years prior. When Felicity saw him in the doorway, she couldn't contain the smile that came over her face.

"Tim!" she exclaimed. "What are you doing here? I feel like it's been a lifetime since I've seen you. Which, I guess in my case is oddly true."

Tim smiled. "Yeah, Mr. Queen told me about your accident. I'm sorry to hear about your memory loss."

"Tim, I mean it, call me Oliver. Especially when we're not at the office." Oliver moved to stand next to Felicity, kissing her temple as he greeted her. "I hope you don't mind that I brought someone home with me for dinner."

"As long as Tim doesn't mind that dinner is just pasta and salad," Felicity said, smiling.

"I'm easy to please, you should remember that at least," Tim responded.

"Well the food's almost done, so why don't you have a seat in the dining room and I'll just finish up in the kitchen," Felicity said, gesturing in the direction of the dining room.

Oliver followed Felicity into the kitchen, where she began to take down an extra place setting for their guest. Oliver grabbed a couple of beers and a bottle of water out of the fridge and then emptied the pasta into a serving dish, while Felicity put the finishing touches on the salad.

"So, I have to ask- what prompted the surprise dinner guest?" Felicity asked.

"Well," Oliver replied. "Tim came up to the office today to help me out with something and he asked about you. We got to talking and then I thought; who better to help you catch up on technology than your tech mentor?"

"You brought him here to be my tech tutor?" Felicity asked, surprised.

"Yeah."

"That is really the most thoughtful thing," Felicity's eyes began to fill with tears.

"I thought that Tim would be a good choice because you always tell me that he's the best, and I knew that you'd remember him from before the accident," Oliver explained. "When I asked him, he didn't even hesitate to agree to do it. He's a good guy."

"This is really sweet Oliver," Felicity said. "Thank you."

"You're welcome."

"Oh, hormones," Felicity grumbled, wiping the tears from her eyes.

Oliver put a hand on her shoulder, giving her a comforting smile.

"C'mon, let's go eat," Felicity said.

They sat together at the table to eat. It was the first time that they'd had anyone over to the house for dinner since the accident and Felicity felt strangely nervous about playing hostess. She was also infinitely thankful that she'd chosen to wear jeans instead of yoga pants that day, since she'd been out for a walk.

"Tim, Lily must be getting big," Felicity commented. "How old is she now?"

"She's six, actually. She'll go to first grade in the fall," Tim said, smiling.

"Wow, I can't believe it. She was so little."

"Yeah, I can hardly believe it either," Tim admitted. "We've actually had another one, as well. Adriana just turned two."

"Another girl? That's great. Maggie must be thrilled."

"Thrilled, and exhausted. We both are. They are precious, but they are also a handful," Tim pulled his phone out of his pocket. "Here take a look."

He pulled up a photo of the two girls on his phone and handed it to Felicity, so that she and Oliver could look at it.

"What about you guys? Do you know if it's a boy or girl yet?" Tim asked.

Felicity looked over at Oliver, confused, and found that he had a similar expression.

"Did I tell you that I was pregnant?" Felicity asked, handing Tim back the phone.

"No," Tim admitted. "But I've got two kids, so I recognized the signs. I know you don't remember, but we work pretty closely together. Wasn't hard to guess."

"We don't know the gender. We actually haven't started to tell people yet," Oliver said cautiously.

"Oh, I'm not going to tell anyone at the office. It's none of my business, and frankly I don't really like to talk to people."

"That much I remember," Felicity said, smiling.

"I'm really happy for you guys," Tim said. "I know things are a little rough now, but I'm sure it will all work out. And when that little person comes into your life, everything will change. In a good way, I mean."

"I hope so," Felicity replied.

After dinner, Tim and Felicity spent a couple of hours in the office, where he walked her through her systems and helped her to solve some of the system errors she'd been encountering. It was a start, at least, and they made plans to meet up again to continue the tutoring. Tim also left her with a list of resources to help her keep at it, including some up to date hacking resources, which Felicity was grateful for. Although she couldn't tell Tim why she needed them (and he didn't ask), she really wanted to get back to helping Oliver as the Arrow. She needed to feel useful again and nothing made her feel more useful than helping to keep Starling City safe.

Felicity was waving to Tim from the front porch, when Oliver came down to say goodnight before he went to bed.

"How did it go?" he asked.

"Pretty good," Felicity replied. "He helped me fix that error message."

"Good," Oliver said, nodding.

Felicity only hesitated for a moment before stepping forward and wrapping her arms around Oliver's waist, resting her head on his chest. He seemed slightly surprised but tightened his arms around her.

"Thank you," she said, honestly. "I think I really needed that."

"I'm glad," he told her. "I just wish I could do more to help."

"I know. Me too."

Oliver kissed the top of her head as he ended the hug. "C'mon, let's go to bed."


	7. Chapter 7

Dr. Callahan's office was different than Felicity had expected. She had anticipated a clinical setting with uncomfortable chairs and stark white walls. Instead, the room was warm and inviting with blue-grey walls and worn leather couches. It felt more like a living room than a doctor's office.

Felicity was admiring one of the paintings on the wall when the office door opened and an older woman stepped in.

"Hello, I'm Dr. Callahan," the older woman reached out to shake Felicity's hand.

"Hi," Felicity responded. "Felicity Smoak, I mean not Smoak. Felicity Queen."

"It's nice to meet you Felicity. Please have a seat."

"You're English," Felicity began as she sat down on the worn leather couch. "I didn't know that. Not that it matters or anything. I had a boss who was English. He was also Oliver's stepfather; does that make him my stepfather in law? Or I guess ex-stepfather in law. Which I guess is really nothing," Felicity closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "Sorry, I babble when I'm nervous, actually I babble when I'm not nervous too. I'm a babbler."

"It's okay Felicity. You can relax." Dr. Callahan smiled. "And yes, I am from Brighton, in England."

"That's good, I mean, I think that's good," Felicity clasped her hands tightly together, trying to calm her nerves. "Did you like living in England?"

"I did. However I am also quite fond of Starling City," Dr. Callahan opened the leather portfolio she held on her lap. "Now, Felicity, you were referred by Dr. Bernhard after you had a fall?"

Felicity nodded.

"And I understand that as a result of this fall, you are experiencing post-traumatic amnesia, which is to say that you're having trouble recollecting the last few years?"

"Yes," Felicity explained. "I don't really remember anything from the last four years. I thought we were still in 2014. Actually, I'm still not completely convinced that this isn't all just a crazy dream."

"I think that's perfectly understandable. Our memories are what ground us to reality, what allow us to track the passage of time. Without those memories, things must feel very surreal. I imagine that a lot has changed in your life in the past few years."

"You could say that," Felicity scoffed. "I got married, got pregnant, bought a house and changed my job. Apparently I have missed out on all the big moments in my life. It's a lot to deal with."

"And are you?"

"Am I what?"

"Are you dealing with all that has happened to you?"

Felicity thought for a moment, rubbing her hand along her neck and shoulder. "I don't know. I'm trying to. It's not easy though."

"I wouldn't have believed you if you said that it was," Dr. Callahan gave a sympathetic smile. "You've had a lot to process in only a couple of weeks."

Felicity nodded, still rubbing her neck.

"Felicity, I'd like to try to help, if you'll let me. In my experience it's important for individuals who've been through a trauma, such as you have, to talk about what they're experiencing. To talk about how they're coping with the changes and more importantly, how they are feeling. This is not an easy thing that you're going through, and I'm not going to lie to you, it will probably get worse before it gets better." Dr. Callahan paused. "It will get better though. I can promise you that."

"Thank you," Felicity responded quietly.

"Okay, then, let's begin," Dr. Callahan said, picking up her pen. "What do you remember from before the accident? What was your life like four years ago?"

Felicity told Dr. Callahan about working at Queen Consolidated, first in the IT department, then as Oliver's assistant. She talked about weekends spent hanging out with Oliver, Sara, and Diggle, leaving out their less than legal activities. She even reminisced about her old townhouse which, despite her love for her dream house, part of her still missed.

"You were happy?" Dr. Callahan asked.

"Yeah," Felicity shrugged. "I mean things weren't always great, but I was happy with my life."

"And now?"

"Now, I don't know. Things are so different. I don't feel like I fit into this life." Felicity's eyes filled with tears. "I used to feel useful, but now, I'm not. I can't do my job because I don't understand all the new technology, and I _loved_ my job. I really loved my job. And everyone is looking at me like they're just waiting for me to get my memories back, so that I can be that Felicity again. And it's been almost two weeks and all I've remembered is one stupid thing, and I'm starting to worry that it's all that I'll ever remember. And Oliver. Oh god, Oliver. The way that he looks at me just kills me. I don't know how to be what he needs anymore. To be honest, sometimes it's just really hard to be around him, because I feel like I'm letting him down."

The tears began to fall freely down Felicity's cheeks. "And he's trying so hard. I _know_ he's trying so hard to be there for me, to be patient, to give me space. He wants to help me so badly, and I just don't know how to let him. I can't be his wife, and I don't even really know how to be his friend like this anymore."

"Is that what you want to be- his friend?"

Felicity reached for a tissue, dabbing at her eyes. "Honestly, I don't know."

"What can you tell me about your relationship with Oliver?" Dr. Callahan asked. "You've said that you were friends from the time that you remember, and now you're married. There must be a strong connection between you."

Felicity nodded. "There is."

"Did you have romantic feelings for him before?"

"I don't know. Maybe?" Felicity said, honestly. "I really tried not to think about it. We worked together, which would have made a romantic relationship complicated, so that was off the table in a way. We were friends, and colleagues, and that's all we really could be."

"Yet, you and he did enter into a romantic relationship. So something must have changed."

"If it did, I don't know what it was," Felicity admitted.

"Maybe you should ask him." Dr. Callahan leaned forward. "In order to move forward, you need to face the past. At some point you and Oliver chose to enter into a romantic relationship. You were married, you became pregnant. Regardless of whether or not you get your memory back, you still have a choice in this. At some point you will have to choose whether or not this is the life that you want, and in order to make an informed decision, you need to talk to Oliver, to find out how you got to where you are. It doesn't mean that you have to make the same choices that you made before."

Felicity nodded.

"I know this is a lot to take in," Dr. Callahan said. "I don't want to overwhelm you, so I think we should end a little early today."

"Thank you," Felicity said. "And you're right, I need to start figuring things out, I can't keep waiting for my memory to come back."

"Can I give you some homework?" Dr. Callahan asked.

"Sure."

"Spend some time with Oliver, go out on a date," she suggested. "You knew him as a friend; get to know him as a partner, as a spouse."

"I don't know if I'm ready for that," Felicity admitted.

"I believe you are more ready than you think," Dr. Callahan smiled. "You don't have to pretend to be something you're not. Just be yourself, and be honest with him, and see where it goes."

"I can do that."

"Good," Dr. Callahan stood up. "And don't forget to come back and tell me all about it next week."

Felicity smiled as she stood. "I will."

Diggle was waiting for her outside of the office after her session and the two of them headed for lunch at Big Belly Burger.

"I have to admit, Dig. I didn't expect you to be the only one waiting for me when I got out of my session," Felicity said as they sat down.

"He's trying to give you your space," Diggle replied.

"He really has been so good about all of this. I know it can't be easy for him," she looked up at Diggle, frowning. "You see him every day. How is he doing?"

"He's Oliver, he's fine."

"How is he _really_ doing?"

"He walks around a lot like a guy who can't find his car keys."

Felicity sighed. "It's just weird now, being around him. He looks at me differently, like he's expecting me to be her."

"You are her, Felicity."

Felicity shook her head. "I'm not her, not really. I mean, I'm not the her that he loves."

"What makes you say that?"

"I don't know," Felicity said, flustered. She picked up the plastic menu and fiddled with the edges. "I guess I just don't understand how I went from Felicity the sidekick to Felicity Queen. I don't know what changed for him to see me differently. How I became this person that I'm supposed to be now, running my own IT team, being a sister and a wife and a mom. Suddenly I have all of these roles and responsibilities and I kind of feel like a kid playing dress up. Except it's my actual life."

They were interrupted briefly when the waitress came to take their order, and Felicity took a moment to take deep breaths and try to compose herself. She was still feeling emotionally overwhelmed from her session with Dr. Callahan.

"Can I admit something to you John?" Felicity asked.

"Of course."

"I'm scared." Felicity nervously tucked her hair behind her ears. "I don't know if I can do this. If I don't get my memories back, I don't know if I'm ready to be Mrs. Queen. I'm definitely not ready to be a mom. Before this I could barely keep a plant alive, so how am I supposed to take care of a baby, especially in this city where horrible things happen all the time. I heard on the news the other day that babies are going missing from the hospital. I am definitely not ready for this."

"Look, Felicity, I get it," Diggle said, patting her arm sympathetically. "A lot has changed in the last four years, but you are still you. You might feel out of place right now, but you will figure it out. You always do."

"Thanks Dig," Felicity took his hand and squeezed it, smiling.

"Anytime."

"So, new topic," Felicity declared, taking a deep breath. "I have been informed that you and Lyla are still going strong, but I don't see a ring on your finger, so what's that all about?"

"We have an understanding," Diggle told her.

"Oh, is that what the kids are calling it these days?"

Diggle chuckled. "Lyla and I both have jobs and responsibilities that can make things challenging. We have a place together, but we've been married and divorced once already and neither of us wants to put that pressure on our relationship again. Not yet anyway."

"You're happy though?"

"Yeah."

"Good."

That night, as they were eating dinner, Oliver asked Felicity how her session with Dr. Callahan had gone.

"It was good," Felicity told him. "She was really nice, and I think it was helpful to talk about everything that's happening with someone who isn't actually directly involved. Not that I can't talk to you and Dig and Thea and everyone, it's just different."

"I can understand that," Oliver said. "I am glad that it was helpful. Are you going to go back?"

"Yeah. I think I'll try to see her weekly for now," Felicity pushed her food around her plate nervously. "Actually she gave me some homework."

"Is that so?"

"Yeah. She thought it would be a good idea for us to go out, you know, like on a date," Felicity said, biting her lip nervously.

Oliver looked up from his plate, meeting her eyes. "You want to go on a date?"

"Yes, I mean, well, it's homework for therapy," Felicity rambled. "Not that I don't want to go on a date with you, I mean, I do, sort of. I mean yes. I would like to go on a date. If you want to."

Oliver smiled. "How does Saturday night sound? We could go to dinner."

"That would be good," Felicity managed a small smile, feeling simultaneously excited and nervous. She was going on a date, with Oliver. There was no turning back now.


	8. Chapter 8

As Saturday drew nearer, Felicity became increasingly nervous. Despite being fairly certain about Oliver's feelings towards her, she was still struggling with her own feelings towards him and going on an actual date felt like a huge step in their relationship. Logically she knew that they'd done this successfully many times before, but she couldn't remember any of that so it didn't count.

It was all happening differently than she'd imagined it previously. Because of course she'd imagined what it would be like to go on a date with Oliver. He was Oliver; handsome, strong, hero of Starling City Oliver, who was one of her closest friends. She'd have to have been a robot to have not developed any kind of feelings for him.

She'd fantasized about him asking her out one night while they were working in the Foundry, with no provocation, no evident reason. She'd imagined that she would wear a great dress and they would go out to a nice restaurant and drink expensive red wine and forget about all of the drama in their lives. And maybe that was the way that it had gone down the first time, but Felicity couldn't remember and she wasn't ready to ask.

Indeed, their circumstances were very different. Felicity felt like she was jumping into the middle of their story, instead of getting to start at the beginning. Although it felt like a first date to Felicity, she knew for Oliver it wasn't, and that only made her more nervous. It felt like her whole future was riding on this one night, and no matter how much she tried to push that feeling away, knowing she was overreacting, she just couldn't.

By Saturday morning, Felicity was a complete wreck. She'd spent an hour trying on every dress in her closet, but nothing fit right. She may not have been that far along in her pregnancy, but she was showing just enough that her closet full of fitted dresses were no longer wearable. Sitting on the floor of the closet, on a bed of brightly coloured clothes, Felicity realized that it was time to call for backup.

Felicity arrived at Verdant to pick up Thea. It was the first time she'd come to the club since the accident, and she was relieved to see that it looked much the same as she remembered. Thea came out from the back and greeted Felicity.

"Thanks for making time for me," Felicity said. "I know it was short notice."

"It's no problem. Shopping emergencies are what I live for," Thea replied. "What's the occasion?"

"Oliver and I are going out on a date."

"Ooh, a second first date. That's exciting," Thea smiled. "I can see why you would want a new outfit for that."

"Well, that and the fact that none of my dresses will zip up anymore." As soon as the words were out of her mouth, Felicity realized that she'd revealed too much.

"Oh my God, are you pregnant?" Thea asked, eyes wide.

"Umm," Felicity panicked, not sure how to respond.

"Oh my God, you are! You are totally pregnant!" Thea exclaimed, practically squealing. "I knew it! Well, I didn't know it, but I knew it."

Thea pulled Felicity into a tight hug, rocking back and forth. "This is so exciting!"

"Okay Thea," Felicity said, feeling overwhelmed. "Let a girl breathe."

Thea practically jumped back. "Oh no, did I squish him? Or her?"

She gently rubbed Felicity's stomach. "I'm sorry baby."

"I think I'm the only one who got squished," Felicity told her, rolling her eyes.

"Well then, I'm sorry mommy," Thea teased.

That word struck a chord with Felicity, bringing up emotions she wasn't ready to deal with. "Okay, let's not go there yet."

"Sorry," Thea said sincerely, "I'm just excited. I'm going to be an aunt! Yay!"

"Yes, you are," Felicity said. "But here's the thing. I'm pretty sure that I wasn't supposed to tell you. I think Oliver and I were supposed to tell you together, but then things got…"

"Complicated?" Thea offered.

"Exactly. So, if you could not tell Oliver that I told you," Felicity said sheepishly.

"Your secret is safe with me," Thea promised, pretending to seal her lips. "Now let's go find you a dress to make you look like a hot mama."

That night Felicity practiced her deep breathing in an effort to stay calm as she headed down the stairs towards Oliver, who was waiting by the front door. The dress that Thea had helped her to pick out was a deep midnight blue sleeveless chiffon dress, with an empire waist, which hid the small swell of her stomach. It had a full skirt, which ended just above her knees. She'd left her hair down, and it curled softly over her shoulders, however she found herself nervously twirling a strand as she became aware of Oliver's eyes on her.

"You look beautiful," he told her, his eyes running over her.

"I don't know, I feel like it's too low cut or something; then again, my boobs are huge right now, I guess that's one of the perks of being pregnant," she rambled nervously, fidgeting with the neckline of her dress.

"Felicity," he said, laying a hand on her shoulder, causing her to look up and meet his eyes. "You look incredible."

"Thank you," she replied. "You look pretty good too."

Oliver was wearing a charcoal grey suit with a white dress shirt. He'd forgone the tie and left the top buttons undone.

"Shall we?" he said, offering his arm.

She took it, trying to tamp down her nervousness, and allowed him to lead her out to the car.

"So, where are we going?" she asked as he opened the car door for her.

"Cinara," Oliver responded.

"I've never heard of it," Felicity said, getting into the car. "Which I guess isn't all that surprising. Is it any good?"

"I hope so," Oliver replied. "I've never been there before."

He closed her door, walking around the car and getting in on the driver's side. "I thought it might be a good idea to go somewhere that we have never been before. That way it could be a fresh start for both of us, a proper first date."

Felicity couldn't help but smile at his thoughtfulness. She wondered if her anxiety had been that obvious. He really seemed to be going out of his way to try and ensure that she was comfortable, not only for their date, but even in their day to day lives. It seemed that he'd really grown and matured in the past four years and Felicity wondered how much of that was because of their relationship.

"Thank you," she said sincerely, reaching out and laying her hand on his arm.

He looked over at her and smiled, before focusing his attention back on the road. "So, it seems you survived shopping with Thea."

"It was exhausting," Felicity admitted. "We may have to call it an early night."

Oliver chuckled. "I can imagine. Thea takes shopping very seriously."

"I have never tried on so many clothes in my entire life. It was like a clothing marathon."

"I have been through several of those myself."

"You've shopped with Thea? This I have to hear about."

They spent the drive to the restaurant swapping Thea stories, and by the time they arrived, Felicity had started to relax, her nervousness fading with the ease of their conversation.

When they arrived, Oliver opened the door for her, once again offering his arm, and they walked into the restaurant together. The maitre d' approached them as soon as they entered.

"Mr. and Mrs. Queen," he said, "we're so delighted that you've come to join us this evening. Let me take you to your table."

As they followed him through the restaurant Felicity whispered to Oliver, "am I ever going to get used to being called Mrs. Queen?"

Oliver chuckled quietly. "I doubt it."

When they were seated at the table, the maitre d' offered to bring a wine list, however Oliver declined, asking for a bottle of sparkling water instead.

"You don't have to do that," Felicity said. "You can have a glass of wine."

Oliver shook his head. "We made a deal. I won't have anything that you can't have."

"Speaking of deals, I kind of agreed to have brunch with your mom and Thea tomorrow. I hope that's okay."

"Of course," Oliver said. "Mom has wanted to see you since the accident. I have actually been putting her off because I didn't want to overwhelm you."

"I appreciate that," Felicity said. "However I guess Thea didn't feel the same way since she pretty much cornered me when your mom called today."

"I can call and cancel if you want me to," Oliver offered.

"No, it's okay," Felicity insisted. "It has to happen sometime."

"True enough."

"Also, we should probably tell them that I'm pregnant. I know it's not exactly the best timing and we still have a lot to figure out, but I'm getting wider by the minute, so we should probably tell them before it becomes obvious."

Or before I accidentally tell more people, Felicity added silently.

"If you think you are ready to tell them, then I think that's a good idea," Oliver said.

"I'm as ready as I'll ever be," Felicity said.

"You have nothing to worry about. You already know how much Thea loves you, and I'm sure she'll be thrilled to be an aunt."

"And your mother?"

"Has become more relaxed in the past few years. After we decided once and for all not to keep any more secrets, things became a lot easier."

"Does that mean she knows about, well, you know?" Felicity asked.

"She does."

"Wow."

The waiter approached their table with two glasses and a bottle of sparkling water. He poured them each a glass and asked if they were ready to order. Oliver asked for another few minutes, and they both picked up their menus.

"Okay, I think I have to deviate from the typical first date girl pretends not to have an appetite and orders the sensible salad thing because I am absolutely craving a huge steak and a baked potato," Felicity said as she looked over the menu.

"I never liked when women would just order a salad," Oliver said, smiling. "What's the point of going to a nice restaurant if you aren't going to enjoy the food?"

"That's a good point."

"In fact, I think that I will also have a steak."

Conversation came easily as they ate; they talked about what was happening at Queen Consolidated and shared stories from their pasts. If Oliver had heard any of Felicity's stories before, and she was sure he must have, he didn't let on. Felicity found that she was happier and more relaxed than she'd been since the accident. It was nice to just be with Oliver, to spend time with him, and to enjoy his company.

Still, there was something that had been nagging at her all week, and although she didn't want to break the spell that they seemed to be under, she knew she would regret it if she didn't bring it up.

"Oliver, can I ask you something?" she said, hesitantly.

"Of course," he replied.

"Why haven't you been _out_ in the evenings?"

Oliver didn't respond right away.

"I only ask because I'm concerned it's because of me, and I want you to know that I'm okay if you go _out_. You can't leave Diggle and Roy to handle it all on their own," she continued.

"I've been out," he protested.

"Twice," she said. "In two weeks."

Oliver sighed. "I don't want to leave you on your own."

Felicity closed her eyes for a moment and took a deep breath. She had a feeling that was the reason. It wasn't that she didn't appreciate it, but being the Arrow was important, for Oliver and for Starling City. He couldn't put that on hold for her.

"Maybe you don't need to leave me on my own," she told him. "I need to get back too. What we do is important, and it's part of who we are. We're a team, and we need to get back to being that team."

"It's too soon," he said reaching out and taking her hand.

"The doctor told me to get back to my normal routine, right? Going to the Foundry is part of my normal routine. Plus, I'm starting to get a handle on my tech again. I might not be Felicity, super hacker, anymore, but I can handle the comms and some basic tracking at least. I promise no field work. I will stay safe in the Foundry."

"I don't know."

"Trust me. We both need this," she gave him a small smile and squeezed his hand.

Oliver seemed to consider it for a minute, and then nodded. "Okay, but not tonight."

"Agreed."

After dinner they went for a walk around the city. Oliver had given her his jacket, as the wrap that she'd brought no longer felt warm enough once the sun had set. As they walked, Felicity had reached out to take Oliver's hand, feeling bold. He looked over at her seemingly slightly surprised, but his expression quickly softened and he smiled at her as he held her hand tightly.

As they walked, Felicity began to wonder if things were actually starting to look up. Their evening together had been almost perfect, just as she'd imagined a first date with Oliver would be like. There was something about the two of them that just seemed to work. For a moment she even allowed herself to wonder if they actually could be happy together.

"I'm really glad we did this," Oliver said, stopping as they reached the apex of the bridge.

"Me too," Felicity replied.

"So, does that mean I can take you out again?" he asked smiling.

"I think that could be arranged."

Oliver reached out to stroke her cheek and she leaned into his touch. Their eyes met and Felicity felt a rush of emotion. Her heart pounded in her chest as he stepped closer and leaned in towards her. Felicity started to close her eyes in anticipation, but just before their lips touched, she found herself taking a step back.

"I'm sorry, I can't," she said, shaking her head.

The look of hurt that crossed his face was enough to break her heart. He looked completely crushed. Felicity closed her eyes, covering her face with her hands. Her heart was racing even faster now, and she felt like she was going to cry. She felt panicked and completely overwhelmed, and tried to focus on breathing deeply. She didn't know what had possessed her to move away from Oliver. She wanted to kiss him, there was no doubt about that, but she just couldn't. Something had stopped her, though she wasn't sure what it was.

"I'm so sorry," she repeated. "I just, it's too much right now. I just can't right now. I'm sorry."

"Hey, it's okay," he said softly, reaching out to touch her arm.

Felicity stepped forward and allowed Oliver to pull her into a hug. A few tears fell down her cheeks and she wiped them away, taking deep breaths, trying to calm down.

"I'm sorry I ruined our night," she said.

"You didn't ruin anything," he told her, kissing the top of her head. "I shouldn't have pushed."

"You didn't," Felicity insisted.

Oliver was quiet for a moment as he continued to rub her back.

"Let's just go home," he said finally.

Felicity nodded.

They walked back to the car together, with Felicity keeping an arm around Oliver's waist, while he had his arm gently wrapped across her shoulders.

After a few minutes of walking in silence, Felicity decided to re-break the ice. "So, how 'bout them Rockets?" she said.

It had the desired effect as Oliver began to chuckle. "You know, we actually own shares in the Rockets now."

"Is that so?"

"Indeed."

"Well that is very interesting. Tell me, Mr. Queen, what else have you acquired in the last four years?"

Oliver smiled and for the rest of their walk back to the car proceeded to fill her in on Queen Consolidated's most recent acquisitions. Although Felicity had been an active participant in the conversation as they were walking, she began to drift off in the car, and was fast asleep by the time they arrived home.

Rather than wake her, Oliver gently unbuckled her and carried her into the house and up the stairs. He lay her gently on the bed, slipping off her shoes and pulling a light blanket over her.

For a brief moment, he let his hand rest over the slight swell of her belly. "Goodnight little one," he whispered.

Then he kissed the top of Felicity's head. "Goodnight, Felicity. I love you."


	9. Chapter 9

The next morning as Oliver was heading downstairs he heard a lot of noise coming from the master bedroom, so he knocked on the door. "Is everything alright?" he asked.

Felicity pulled on her robe and went to open the door, letting Oliver in.

"None of my nice clothes fit me," she sighed.

"Sorry Felicity," he said, sympathetically, following her into the walk in closet. "You are 14 weeks pregnant, though. The baby is growing, your clothes are not supposed to fit."

"Yes, but what am I supposed to do? We have to be at your mother's for brunch in an hour, and the only things that fit are jeans and sweatpants, neither of which are appropriate to wear to a Queen family brunch at your mother's house."

Oliver looked thoughtful for a moment, but then stepped further into the closet and started to open drawers. After a few moments, he held out a black band to her.

"What is that?" Felicity asked.

"Honestly, I'm not sure. You called it a belly belt or something ridiculous like that. It goes over your pants so that you don't have to button them. You were pretty excited when you bought it a few weeks ago."

Felicity took the item out of Oliver's hand, eyeing it skeptically. "Alright, I'll try it."

She ushered Oliver out of the bedroom so that she could get dressed. About twenty minutes later, she practically skipped into the kitchen.

"This thing is genius," she said, smiling. "It's really comfy and you can't even tell that my pants aren't done up. Why didn't you tell me about this before? I've practically been living in the one pair of jeans that fit me."

Oliver shrugged. "I didn't think of it."

"Okay, I'll forgive you," she said. "But only if you promise to protect me from your mother today."

"You don't need protection. She loves you."

"That's not how I remember it," Felicity said, feeling anxious again.

When they arrived at the Queen mansion, they were greeted warmly by Moira. She looked much the same as Felicity remembered her, but there was also something that seemed distinctly different about her. She seemed more relaxed, as though a heavy weight have been lifted off of her. Although she was elegant and poised as always, even the clothes that she wore seemed freer, as she wore a loose blouse and slacks.

"Felicity, dear, it's so good to see you," Moira said, taking her hands and smiling at her warmly. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm okay," Felicity replied, unsure how to respond to Moira's warm welcome.

"Hi Mom," Oliver said, stepping forward and kissing his mother on the cheek.

"Hello dear," Moira responded. "I'm glad you could make it."

Thea came down the stairs a moment later, Roy following a few steps behind her. She approached Felicity first, throwing her arms around her for a hug.

"Hey sister sister," she said smiling. "How did your date go last night?"

"It was good," Felicity told her. She didn't add that it was only good until she ruined it by having a complete meltdown.

"I'll bet Ollie flipped when he saw you in that dress," Thea turned to Oliver. "She looked amazing, right?"

"She looked beautiful," he said smiling at Felicity.

He turned to Thea, "and hello to you too Speedy."

"Hi Ollie," Thea said, hugging her brother.

Felicity noticed Roy hanging back from the group. She smiled at him and waved, "Hi Roy."

"Hey," he replied.

"So, I want to hear all about the date," Thea said eagerly.

Moira suggested that they take their conversation out of the front hallway and into the dining room, which the group abided. They settled into their seats at the table with Felicity and Oliver on one side, Roy and Thea on the other and Moira at the head of the table. They talked for a few minutes, and then the food was brought out.

"Well, I would like to raise a glass," Moira began, lifting a champagne flute filled with orange juice. "I am very thankful to have my children with me today, and by that I, of course, mean all of you. And today I am particularly thankful that Felicity is here with us, and that she is healthy, if a bit forgetful." Moira smiled.

"To family," Thea said.

"To family," Moira echoed.

As everyone lowered their glasses, Oliver cleared his throat. "Before we eat, Felicity and I have something to tell you."

"Really- now?" Felicity whispered.

"Might as well get it out of the way," he whispered back.

He turned back to the table. "Felicity and I are going to have a baby."

Although she knew already, Thea still couldn't contain the grin that spread across her face. "This is so exciting!"

Even Roy, who was normally quite stoic, smiled. "Congrats guys."

Moira seemed to take longer to respond, as though she was processing the information and crafting her response carefully. However, after a moment, she too smiled. "Well, that is wonderful news."

"So, when do I get to meet my little niece or nephew?" Thea asked. Felicity knew that she was eager to know all the details, having put her off the day before, wanting to wait until she and Oliver could tell her properly.

"Um, I'm 14 weeks along," Felicity began, struggling as she realized she didn't actually know the answer. Her obstetric appointment that week couldn't come soon enough.

"The beginning of November," Oliver said, jumping in. "We would have told you sooner, but we wanted to wait until after the first trimester, and then things became complicated."

"We're figuring it out though, right?" Felicity said, looking at Oliver.

He smiled and took her hand, squeezing it softly. "Yes, we are."

After they'd spent most of the day at the Queen Mansion with Oliver's family, Felicity convinced Oliver that they should go to the Foundry. He was hesitant at first, but Felicity presented a strong argument. She reminded him that he'd already agreed to let her come back to the Foundry at dinner the night before, adding that since it was a Sunday night, it would probably be a quiet night anyway.

"Besides," she told him. "I just survived brunch and an afternoon with your mother. I think I've earned this."

"It wasn't that bad, was it?" Oliver asked.

"No, it wasn't bad. Just a little awkward," Felicity admitted.

Felicity's conversations with Thea and Roy had flowed easily, her familiarity with them an asset; with Moira, it was an entirely different story. The Queen matriarch never seemed to say anything without carefully considering her words, which led to the occasional long pause. Felicity, in her nervousness, sought to fill every silence, leading her to ramble even more than usual. She couldn't imagine how she'd managed at holidays and family events over the last three years. Still, Moira seemed to have taken it all in stride and had even hugged Felicity as they said their goodbyes, inviting her to lunch when she felt up for it. Felicity wasn't sure she was ready to go one on one with Moira Queen, but appreciated the sentiment none the less.

A short while later they arrived at the Foundry and Oliver opened the back door for Felicity, allowing her to walk in first. As she walked down the familiar metal steps she felt oddly comforted. This was a place that she knew she belonged. The Foundry hadn't changed much; the layout was generally the same. Felicity noticed some new equipment in the training area and an updated computer system, much like the one she had at the house. The most striking change was the second glass case containing a red hooded jacket, similar in style to Oliver's. Roy had seemed a little different at brunch, more mature and self-assured, and Felicity wondered if this was the reason.

Felicity took a few minutes to walk around and take it all in before settling down in her chair in front of her computers. She pulled out an envelope from her purse which contained her passwords and system information and started to re-familiarize herself with the Foundry's current system.

As Felicity worked, Oliver got changed and proceeded to train, using the salmon ladder and the wooden sparring dummy. When Diggle arrived a while later, he joined Oliver on the mats and they sparred. Sitting in her chair in the Foundry, working on her computer with the sound of Diggle and Oliver sparring in the background had Felicity feeling more relaxed and more at peace than she'd been since the accident. Finally things felt normal.

An alert popped up on her monitor of a robbery only a few blocks from them. She called Oliver over to tell him.

"I'm sure the police can handle that," he said.

"They don't have anyone stationed in this area. These guys will probably be long gone before the police show up. We are much closer," Felicity insisted.

"I don't know," Oliver rubbed a hand across his face.

"Are we no longer trying to stop criminals in 2018?" Felicity asked.

Oliver sighed in response.

"Go."

Oliver opened his mouth as if to say something, but seemed to think better of it and went to change into his Arrow gear. Felicity gave Diggle a questioning look and he simply shrugged.

When Oliver came back to her desk, dressed in his green hood and leathers, Felicity found herself staring. It felt like a lifetime since she'd seen him gear up and become the Arrow. For the last couple of weeks, she felt like she'd been living with this alternative version of Oliver, the devoted husband version who worried about her and took care of her. Now, seeing him in the hood again served as a reminder that he was still the Oliver she remembered as well.

"Be careful," she said as he turned to leave.

"Always," he told her, looking back over his shoulder.

A few hours later, Felicity turned in surprise when she heard Oliver coming down the stairs loudly. He was usually so quiet, but he seemed to have returned angrier than when he'd left. She knew he had caught the thieves he'd gone after and turned them over to the police, so she wondered what had put him in such a foul mood.

"Guns?" Diggle asked, seemingly unsurprised at Oliver's demeanor.

"Yeah," Oliver said tightly.

"Get a name?"

Oliver shook his head. "Nothing new."

"We'll find him."

"Yes, we will," Oliver practically growled as he headed to clean up.

Felicity looked at Oliver's retreating form, then back at Diggle, brow furrowed.

"What was that about?" she asked.

"Oliver didn't tell you?" Diggle asked.

"Oliver has been very tight lipped about all things Arrow." Felicity stood up and walked over to Diggle.

"For the last few months there's been an influx of black market goods coming into Starling City; military grade weapons mostly, but other goods as well. We think the mastermind behind the whole operation is some guy who calls himself Father Faust. He's been linked to similar cases in Coast City and Central City."

"Who is this guy?" Felicity asked, crossing her arms.

"We don't know. We haven't been able to get much information on him. We have the names of a few of his associates, and we've been trying to track them down to get more information on him but we haven't had much luck."

"That explains all of the searches that are running."

"This guy might not be the reason behind all the crime in the city right now, but he's supporting it one way or another. We need to take him down."

"And we will," Oliver said, walking back towards them, re-dressed in his street clothes.

Felicity stood up and took a step towards Oliver. "Why didn't you tell me about this before? We should have been back here sooner. I could have helped."

"Roy and Diggle have been keeping an eye on the searches that you set up and I have followed up on a few leads," Oliver told her.

"You should have told me."

Oliver closed his eyes for a moment and sighed. "Felicity, you are still recovering. I just wanted to keep you away from all of this for a while longer."

"We're supposed to be partners," Felicity began, but as she spoke, something dawned on her. "Wait, we were following a lead when I had my accident, weren't we?"

A look of hope crossed Oliver's face. "Did you remember something?"

"No," Felicity admitted. "But I know you, and we haven't talked about the accident at all, so it just makes sense. What happened that night?"

Oliver took a deep breath. "We were on our way back from dinner. You received an alert on your phone that the facial recognition software had found a match. One of the men we had been tracking was headed towards a warehouse in the Glades. I had my gear in the trunk and we weren't far off, so we decided to head over there."

He ran a hand through his hair, scratching at the back of his head. "You were supposed to stay in the car," he told her.

"I take it I didn't stay in the car?" Felicity asked.

There was an extended moment of silence before Diggle jumped in. "You were keeping tabs from the car but somehow you figured out that the place was rigged to blow. I guess something was messing with the comms, so you headed towards us. We have line of site comms set up for situations like this."

"Makes sense," Felicity responded.

She tried to focus on Diggle, but she could see how agitated Oliver was out of the corner of her eye. He was doing the hand thing he did when he was struggling to keep it together, rubbing his fingers together. This was exactly the reason she'd never brought up the accident before, they had enough to deal with that she hadn't wanted to bring up any more potentially upsetting issues.

"You were able to warn us just in time, and we hadn't quite caught up to you when the blast wave hit and you lost your balance and fell," Diggle explained.

"We should not have gone into the warehouse without more intel," Oliver added, rubbing the side of his neck.

"We couldn't have known it was rigged to blow," Diggle said, looking at Oliver.

"Maybe we could have if we had looked into it first."

"It doesn't sound like there was time," Felicity added softly, stepping closer to Oliver.

"We should have made time," he said, roughly, clenching his fists.

"Hey, it's okay," Felicity reached out and laid a hand on his arm. "I'm okay, the baby is okay. We're both still here."

As she said the words, she wondered if what she was saying was even true. Was she still there? She wasn't the same person he remembered. Did Oliver think she was gone, that he'd lost her that night?

Oliver nodded, but kept his eyes fixed on the floor, not looking at her as she spoke.

Impulsively Felicity stepped forward, wrapping her arms around him. "You didn't lose me," she whispered. "I'm still here."

A moment later, she felt his arms tighten around her waist, as his face nuzzled into her neck.

"Let's go home."

Later that night Felicity was headed towards the stairs to get a glass of water from the kitchen when she heard sounds coming from Oliver's room. She peered in and saw him thrashing on the bed in the throes of what she could only assume was a nightmare.

"Oliver?" she called softly, approaching the bed.

She reached out a hand towards him but before she'd even touched him he gasped and sat straight up in bed, his eyes wide and searching. After a moment, his breathing slowed as he seemed to come back to awareness.

"Felicity," he breathed, looking over at her, "is everything okay?"

"Shouldn't I be asking you that?"

Oliver shook his head, swinging his legs over the side of the bed. "It was just a bad dream."

"Do you have those a lot?" Felicity asked, sitting on the edge of the bed beside him.

"I used to," he admitted. "Not as much anymore."

Felicity gently laid her hand on his arm, stroking it gently.

"I didn't wake you, did I?" he asked, concerned.

"No, I was already up."

Oliver raised an eyebrow, asking a silent question.

"Weird dreams," Felicity said, shaking her head.

"What about?"

Felicity looked down at her lap, a little embarrassed. "I dreamt that the baby was a kangaroo and I had to carry him around in my pouch."

Oliver chuckled.

"It's not funny," Felicity insisted. "Kangaroos freak me out."

"I know," he said, putting an arm around her reassuringly. "Still kind of funny though."

Felicity frowned. "Sure, laugh at the crazy pregnant lady with the kangaroo baby."

"You are not crazy and I promise that our baby is not a kangaroo."

"How do you know?" Felicity asked, leaning into his chest.

"I know," he told her, pulling his arm tighter around her. "And I think that maybe there was just too much excitement today."

"Oh, don't you even start with that," Felicity admonished.

"I meant for both of us."

Felicity closed her eyes for a moment, allowing herself to take comfort in Oliver's embrace. It had been a big day for them, seeing his family and going back to the foundry, talking about the accident. They hadn't even dealt with their disastrous date night the night before, when Felicity had panicked when Oliver had tried to kiss her. Felicity was tired of riding the emotional rollercoaster she'd been on for the past two weeks and she was ready to get off.

"Are we okay?" Felicity asked in a quiet voice. "After last night I mean."

"Of course."

"I just need a little more time," she said, trying to figure out how to put what she was feeling into words. "It wouldn't have been just a kiss because for us, right now, it's so much more than that. We're not just Felicity and Oliver anymore, I'm your _wife_, and we're having a baby, or maybe a kangaroo, and a kiss isn't just a kiss anymore."

"I understand," he said, softly.

"Thank you," she rested her head on his shoulder for a moment, yawning.

"We should get you back to bed," he said.

Oliver moved his arm down around her waist, and stood up, pulling her with him. He walked her back to her room and tucked her into bed.

"I'm glad it's you," she whispered.

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"If I have to go through all of this, losing my memory and having a baby, I'm glad that I am doing it with you."

Oliver ran his hand gently along the side of her face. "Goodnight Felicity."

"Goodnight."


End file.
